The Revelation Of Sgt Ron By Monk Malone/ Ron Frye#879655

Hello all you grease monkeys, ratchet heads, wreck runners and junkyard jockeys; Monk Malone coming at you here with a hot story, right off the runway! My editor, Sean Collin McFae (also known as Sgt Ron Frye by his criminal associates), just released to me some ASTOUNDING news! He has been recognized by the Inter-Galactic Legal Tribunal and the Spiritual Council of Trans-Universal Beliefs, as the leader of an acknowledged religion! After a lengthy and boring period of legal and bureaucratic hearings and procedures, he has officially been designated as the highest representative of his personal religion, which also has been ratified and acknowledged by the above stated organizations, making both he and his church legally recognized entities in all branches of our government and society.

Skipping all of the mumbo jumbo and bull *bleep* that went into how this all went down, I will jump right into the why he did it and what he is planning to do next.

After a prolonged drug and alcohol fueled trip to New Tijuana in the Frat-house System, Sean Collin decided to make a side trip to the CCCC (Cheech and Chong Center of Consciousness) in order to pay his respects at the grave of Jerry Garcia's favorite bong. While there, he accidentally ingested one pound of LSD and a quart of DMT, thinking that they were stale Hersey's gummy bears and a bottle of Schweppes ginger ale. He was pronounced dead at the scene; however, he overdosed so dramatically that he broke the fourth wall and Dead Pool was so insulted by it that he delivered Sean Collin back to the site of his demise just in time for the after school cartoon hour to start. Sean was so impacted by the event that he instantly swore his soul to the first deity that would give him insight into this event. At that precise moment, a passing cargo van hit a pile of trash and launched an empty bottle of Jamison's Whiskey into his lap. On the back of the bottle was a picture of Dionysus performing a obscene act with the ultimate great grand daughter of both Miley Cirus and Lindsay Lohan.

In his own words, here is Sean Collin McFae's, aka Sgt Ron's, statement to the world, "I am born again, swearing my life to the service of Dionysus, the God of Tits and Wine. This event is so momentous that it leads me to realize I must be one of his prophets. This self discovery brings me to the conclusion that, from now on, rather than being addressed as the God of Tits and Wine, I shall henceforth be known as: Sgt Ron Frye aka Saint Stumpy, prophet of the God of Tits and Wine, patron saint of lechers, drunkards and cripples as well as the first apostle of fan fiction and arch seraphim of pulp literature, but you may address me as Sir Drinksalot, Sgt Tittymotorboat, or simply Saint Stumpy."

He also went on to say that while he has no immediate plans, he will continue to edit my articles due to the fact that his land lord will not accept eternal pleasure in the after life as payment for his rent.

Wow. What a guy!

Sincerely,
Monk Malone

Submitted by Ron Frye # 879655