Impressionable One By Brian Lee#896391

I once got asked how the mechs got their names. I really had no clue. So I started going to the military archives in the evenings I was off-duty. I found an old journal one night tucked away behind some armament manuals, the leather was cracked, and twisted. I blew a cloud of dust off, and was barely able to read the title, Life in Boot Camp, by Private Miller. It was mostly boring notes about what kind of P.T. he has doing, or what kind of food he had that day, but somewhere there in the middle, I hit pay dirt. Apparently he was privileged to be under a salty old Engineering Chief named Blair Norris. This guy made an impression on our young private, because he took specific notes on a couple of his speeches.

Here is the first speech:

"You Rooks gather 'roond! Jadoon Buchissers need to Hoplite yer lives depended onnit when I say hop!
Me nephew Gordon wuz always Yallan when I treed ta' tell 'im the enemy don't Keradon bit about ye!

"Unc!" He'd say. "They dunna' fill me with Dread. Nought a wee bit even!" He thought 'e was a real Trooper that one! Well 'e wuz Freon brawn, more'n a wee bit short oon gree mattar! "Unc!" He telled me, "I got a big Oggun, I'll Sever 'em in twain!" I dinnae know what Warhorse he thinked he rode in on, but he jest filled me up with a Torrent of lies. I'll tell ye more next time, get outta me sight, yer Krampus'n me style!"

And further in his journal, after more P.T. complaining, and food choices, and how many urinals he had to clean, was another detailed write up of what I'm assuming is speech number two:

"Why it turns oot me nephew, he wuz the very Antithesis of breevery oonce the enemy shewed up onnis doorstep. They pulled 'im and his wife right outta their Holmes, Orcussin' and a spittin' They laid an Inferno right inna middle of 'is hoose, burnt it to tha' roots they did. Lemme con Fides in ye lads, it were naught a pretty sight. I watched 'em Boreas right inna the
groond, himin hiz missus both. And before I go Luison 'nuther one a ye lads, I'm a gonna tell ye, even the toon Bishop could nae identify Nerio one. So listen well when I tell ye lads, When yer Ballista' the wall, n' yer feelin all Frigis inna gut, that's when ye gotta strike! So be like the Red Ant, 'ye works hard wit' nae complainin, Anzu just might get outta' this alive!"

Shortly after this speech, Private Miller must have been called to action, because the last entry was this one line. "Thank God for Chief Norris. I might actually survive this damned thing after all, signing off. Andrew Miller."

Not sure if anyone has heard of Andrew Miller, but I would bet thanks to Chief Norris he did survive, and was probably assigned to mech design.

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Submitted by Brian Lee#896391