So Green It Hurts - By John Ringo #899287

Sometimes life just gives you a poo pie and it hits the fan.

I was sitting in my favorite Dilo “Ace In The Hole” all kitted up for combat waiting for the drop door to open and release my mech into the cold embrace of space. The status light on the countdown status display changed from red to green as the number hit 0. All around me doors quickly cycled open and compressed air pushed out my teammates mechs out of our ship. They fired their attitude control thrusters and aligned themselves for a hot combat drop onto the planetoid below and get the drop on the enemy we were tasked to fight for this round of the war. Everything was looking good on my screens. Their spacing was just right and they wasted no time in firing the main thrusters and start their screaming descent towards the ground below. The only thing that was wrong at this point was the simple fact my drop door was still closed and my computer was giving a general fault code on my mechs status readout. Grinding my teeth together in frustration all I could do is wait for the techs to reach me and pull my mech back into the service bay to find and repair the damage.

My frustration was not helped by the fact that I was assigned a group of techs so new and shiny it hurt to look at them with your eyes. You could see that they meant well and were eager to get started so I disembarked from my mech and let them get to work. They attacked my mech with the fervor of young men with something to prove. Diagnostic equipment was plugged into any free diagnostic port they could find. Access panels were pulled open all over my mech. Much time went by and more tools were brought into the fray. Sweat was beading up on their foreheads in frustration and concentration while they hunted this elusive “General Fault”.

Radio calls for help started to pour in on the loud speakers in the service bay. My team was finding out we had some bad intel and instead of getting the drop on our enemies they had been waiting in ambush for us. Chaos was breaking loose down there and I was sorely needed to join in the fight if we were going to have a chance to turn things around and save the mission. The techs started to get panicked looks on their faces as they tried to tune out those cries for help and focus on their jobs. This is hardest thing for a green recruit to do. Try and focus on the job and tune out the cries of the dead and dying. Soon the radio traffic stopped and all that was left was random bursts of static from the dead and dying mechs down below. The techs started to stop and go into shock from the knowledge they failed and others have died as a result.

“COMPUTER. END SIMULATION!”

I have had enough. “Gentlemen, you have let me down. You have let the squad down. If this had been real we would all soon be dead or on the run. Hit the showers and grab a hot meal. I expect you all to review this simulation tonight and tomorrow when we do this again I expect a better result. DISSMISSED!”

They shuffled out of the training room looking a little less shiny and a little more worn. Tomorrow will be a better day.

Post Clan War Interview - By David McCallum #701548 w/ Jasmine Cait Sidhe Carter #32890

Now it's not as if I didn't have troubles of my own, what with just coming off a particularly intense war only to be confronted by yet another Xenomorph incursion, when a whole heap more landed on my plate.

I refer to a comm call from 'Her Indoors"...

"Get over here now!" says she.

I use the word 'says' advisedly, because my ears were still ringing a good hour afterwards.

I of course mount up and head for her clan's war zone post haste, after all my C.O. can only shoot me for abandoning my position. 

Her Indoors can do far worse if I fail to respond appropriately to one of her summons.

And so, I arrive to find that particular merry band of cut-throats lounging about while the techs hammer the latest set of dents from their erstwhile steeds. I'm introduced to a new friend my wife has made, a lady that I haven't made the acquaintance of before.

I am a tad surprised when Her Indoors hustles us both into a secluded foxhole and even more taken aback when I'm told to "do that thing"... such instructions are open to all sorts of misinterpretation and besides, said new female pilot looks less like she would drive a mech into battle as she would stride there herself with a Red Ant tucked under each arm...

Thankfully it was clarified that I was to do an interview with her.

G.G. - Erm, OK, now I know whats happening, let's have name, affiliation and serial number for the record.

Jas. - Jasmine Cait Sidhe Carter fighting for the Ranger Raccoons this time, license number #32890

G.G. - So, You were fighting as part of the Heroes Ranger Raccoons this war... is it your first dance with that clan or have you been with them a while?

Jas. - This is the first clan war that I have participated in but I have been with the group some months. They are a decent bunch and I am glad they have accepted me in to their ranks.

G.G. - Glad to have you on board... but popular gossip has it that this isn't your first clan. In fact, you've been around a little while?

Jas. - That is correct. I have been in several clans starting with the Murder Bots.

I started with the Murder Bots in 3260 then went over to the Karanian Empire in 3265 and stayed with them until 3273 when I went on a long journey beyond.

I came back to fight with clan Overlords in February of the year 3296 and stayed with the Overlords until 3305 when I went to the nameless clan in April 3306 until September 3307 until I again heeded the call to adventure beyond the galaxy we know and disappeared.

I reappeared again for the strangest time of all, Porktober 3324 and have been here since then with the Racoons.

G.G. - So hang on, the first time you hung up your spurs so to speak, I hadn't even put my posterior in a pilots chair... are you one of those early jocks who were fighting before we had even worked out how to fit modular equipment into the mechs???

Jas. - Affirmative, that is correct.

G.G. - Woah... OK then, for the benefit of some of the younger pilots out there, what was the transition like moving into the hardware age? Was there a big difference when you suddenly had all this gear available for enhancements?

Jas. - Aye it was difficult at first but being one of the first we learned to adapt relatively quickly. We had to or we died, it was that simple.

G.G. - So what was it that tempted you back from your travels to climb in the cockpit and have large scale munitions flung at you again?

Jas. - I never stopped having "large scale munitions flung at me." I came back for a break from the REAL WARS...

You children have no idea what is waiting for us out there but it is too soon.. the one you called 'Baby Elephant' knew and he sadly takes that secret to the grave.

These "xenos" we fight they are just the scouts for an even larger force beyond.

It is our loss that 'Baby Elephant' passed when he did, he had good insight into tactics and clan personnel that he passed on to me in the times we talked.

G.G. - Alright, moving on to more modern times, the viewers are probably going to want to know how things went for you this war...

Jas. - How things went.. well things could have gone better. I am a bit ashamed about my performance but as time progresses i will get better

G.G. - Ashamed in what way?

Jas. - well in the beginning my performance was as a cold-blooded killer. I could take human life with the best of them and my record stated that... then I went to the wars and fought the xenos to save humans and now I'm back.. to KILL humans. Something I'm not used to doing again... yet.

But I will get back into the groove. I have to.. to survive.

Me and the Ghostriders will have to become the coldblooded killers we once were to survive in these backwards worlds .. that is.. until the xenos REALLY arrive and then all of us who have been out there fighting... well hopefully we all will return and things will change yet again.

G.G. - I've seen some of the mission tapes and in a lot of cases you looked quite out-massed by a lot of the opposition... did any of the medal prizes help towards offsetting any of that?

Jas. - Not at all. It was my pilots skill that helped turn the tide of combat. They should be commended. The equipment only enhanced their skills.

G.G. - The quality of the meat, not the metal eh?

Jas. - Affirmative, that is correct. The medal prize mecha will help but not the equipment. I mean come on, who in their right mind arms a mech with GARLIC?!?!?!?!

G.G. - Hey, you never know when vampire Xenos will arrive..

Jas. - They already have and it don't work on them because it cant get through the armor.

G.G. - That’s why you use solid shot or lasers in your first burst, then follow it up with the stinky stuff...

Jas. - No that’s when you use sunspo-- oh wait.. never mind.

Strike that from the recording please.

G.G. - Hmmm... sounds like I need to do some digging into what you may have brought back from your travels....

<At this point she unholsters a Starleague issue pulse laser>

Jas. - I wouldn’t recommend it.

G.G. - But I digress... there's another wave of Xenomorphs coming in at the moment so we probably need to wrap up shortly...

<She holsters her weapon with a wry smirk and a nod>

G.G. - anything you are hoping to scavenge from the battlefield at the end of this?

Jas. - Any intel on the main force that I can send back to the front and whatever materiel I can to use in the efforts back here.

Maybe some heavier mechs to field to replace some of my more aging units.

G.G. - c'mon... there must be something specific you are keeping your scanners peeled for...

Jas. - Hmmm.. Jadoon, Jottun or Harrel since I run very lean on Noides. That Nanite Swarm looks tasty too.

G.G. - Oh, you mean the Repair Swarm... yes very useful kit that, has pulled my buttocks out of the high temperature situations on more than one occasion. You just need to make sure they don't try to strip your body for raw materials

Jas. - Indeed.

G.G. - Anyway, incoming, we need to close this off and suit up... been a pleasure talking to you Jasmine.

Jas. - You as well. Sorry for pulling the hardware on a fellow Hero.

Back to the raid!

GHOSTRIDERS TO THE ADVANCE!!!!!

Shrapnel Blaster - By Joshua Bourne #702128

"Repurposes salvaged metals into projectiles."

Hot off the presses, we've received a new weapon from our Factories called the "Shrapnel Blaster". 

However this is a limited item, so get it while it's still here.

The Shrapnel Blaster is a Niode weapon with the following stats and costing:

Damage: 121
Speed: 105
3X Damage 12%
Trample 12%
Min Level: 71
Ferrite: 2001
Bioptics: 1200
Niodes: 60

Or buy in bulk for:

Niodes: 240

This new weapon is a devastating gun for any Projectile wielding mecha, giving it serious punching power with absolute ease.

The speed of the weapon is very good, allowing it to loose off its salvo before a lot of other high powered weapons in the Galaxy. And when you combine it's damage and speed, along with a 12% innate triple damage AND trample damage, it's going to devastate multiple mechas at once.

All in all, I think this weapon's a must have for those that can afford it. But don't miss out! They are in limited supply!

Nebula Drive - By Joshua Bourne #702128

"Fueled by a micro-nebula"

Not too long ago, we were introduced to the new 105 Ton behemoths that are the Guardian mechas, and their intense weight and gear requirements meant that the Gear suppliers had to work tirelessly to provide Pilots that own these mechas the required gear to equip them with.

This is one of the new pieces..

The Nebula Drive is a Niode Engine piece that's available to 100-105T mechas with the following stats:

Speed + 4
Fire Damage + 5%
Proj. Vulnerable 5%
2X Damage 4%

This item first made a lot of pilots happy to see, that they'd be able to purchase items to slot onto their new mecha and take out into the field effectively, but it soon sunk in that the gear was not too good against the competition 5 tonnage lower. Of course, these are the "test models" for future Equipment types, but for now we're stuck with relatively "weak" items. However I digress...

It has an okay speed buff to it of 4, which when stacked will provide the joints with enough speed to get out of a pinch, and get those devastating salvos of shots off in quick succession.

If you're partial to using Fire type weapons, this Engine'll be for you, as you get a decent 5% increase to their effectiveness, but watch out for it's innate 5% Projectile vulnerability as a result of using one (or more) of these items.

Finally, this gear also grants the mecha with an increased chance of scoring double it's intended damage, making it a very deadly weapon indeed.

My overall outcome of this gear: Mediocre. I'd wait till they get the kinks and work out the issues of the gear before beginning to purchase the Niode variants, but that's just me

History Equipment Review – By John Ringo #899287

David McCallum burst through John Ringo’s office door and started walking in circles while waving his arms around like a flightless bird who truly believes in his heart he can fly if he only flaps fast and hard enough. He stopped in front of the bookcase and starts frantically pulling books off shelves and looking inside them for the ones that have hollow insides where you can stash a bottle of booze. As the pile of empty books started to grow into a small mountain he started to mumble a few words over and over again. “It is history…. It is history…. It is history!!!!!! Why is the Rum gone…. Why is the Rum always gone?!!!” With that he collapsed on the floor into a sitting position and hugging his knees to his chest started rocking slightly back and forth in a soothing motion.

John having been in this business long enough now to recognize the sure signs of writers block from working too hard opened his lower desk drawer and removed a bottle of “Medicine”. This 108 Proof bottle of Rum should put him back to rights. John walked over to David and forced his hands open and thrust the bottle into them. With a cry of joy David took to the bottle like a baby to his mothers breast for the milk of life its self. After 1/3 of the bottle was gone the sounds he was making started to sound more like words. When ½ of the bottle was empty his eyes found John’s and he spoke. “Thanks Mate. After being away so long I should have paced myself better and not rushed the work as fast as I have been. I had just sat down to write up a review on the 105T Chassis equipment called “History” and I just snapped. Next thing I know here we are. Well I think I need to take a break for a while.” David passes out on the floor with a smile on his face.

John walked back to his desk and hits the button to start recording:

Well it looks like my guest writer David McCallum needs to take a break so I will pick up where he left off and talk to you today about one of the Chassis options for your new Guardian that was named “History”.

The store listed this as costing 2200 Ferrite, 1000 Crystal and 50 Niodes. What the hell? Crystal and Niodes for the same piece of gear??

So here are the good points. You get a 10% boost to your Fork chance. You get 5% to your 2X and 10% to your 3X damage chances…. I personally love Fork on my mechs and I will never turn down a boost to my damage multipliers but as good as this piece starts we get to the bad points…

This equipment has a -2 speed vulnerability…. Like your BFM Guardian needs to be any slower. Even worse than just slowing your mech down this equipment is missing something even more important… there is nothing that boosts your Dodge chances.

Let’s hope that as your faster foe closes in on you on the battlefield your Vorpal Sword comes up quickly in your gun rotation so you can 100% crit him before he pounds your slow not dodging butt into the ground.

Well that is all I have for you today. Be sure to tune in next time when David has another snappy review for your consideration. *Grin*

What's In A Name? - By John Ringo #899287

The CO walked through the door and the pilots got to their feet and came to attention. “At ease” He said with a wave of his hand when he reached the podium. The room settled back into their chairs and gave him their full attention. Mechinator looked around the room and briefly locked eyes with every pilot here. Just long enough that you felt welcome and a part of the team. This was one of the many skills that made this pilot a solid leader. He picked up the control wand and brought the holo tank to life and started his briefing.

“I know there has been a lot of scuttle butt going around about what kind of war we are going to have this year. Let me put you out of your misery, it is going to be a squad war this time. I know some of you like this format and there are those of you who hate it.” He paused and gave a short chuckle and then continued. “I do know that regardless of your personal feelings you will give this your best and fight together like the crazy animals you all are.” The room filled with hearty laughter and more than a few feral grins.

A grimace quickly flashed across his face before he spoke again. “Now we get to the part everyone ‘Loves’ best about a Squad War. We must split our pilots up into a few new units and come up with a name. General Abbott hates issuing names and as usual left it up to us to put one down on the paper work so we can get in.” He pushed a button on the control wand and the entrance form showed up in the holo tank. At the top of the form is the field for the name of your team and the next one below it was the field for your unit motto. Both fields still had the default text showing. “Insert_Name_Here” and “Loading…” as the form will not let go any farther until you filled those two fields in. He looked back up at the pilots and said. “So, which one of you Monkeys are going to pick the winning name this time?”

The room burst into a symphony of noise as names were shouted back to him. Some were rude, some were silly but he did not hear anything that was very inspiring. From the very back of the room a voice pierced the noise and demanded silence. Everyone turned around and looked at Joshua Bourne who had an impish grin on his face. The CO made a gesture for him to continue.

“Why don’t you just leave the default text in there boss and send it in to the Craftsman just the way it is” He laughed. “We all hate thinking up these names so why bother. Send it in that way and let’s move on to the important task of getting ready for combat.”

Mechinator laughed so hard the buttons on his uniform were straining and close to popping off. “I love it! I am sure the General will get a laugh out of this as well. Dissmissed!”

Intelligence Unit Equipment Review - By David McCallum #701548

I'm absolutely flabbergasted.

Never in all my life, and I can say this without a word of doubt, has my flabber been so gasted.

I'm scanning through the offerings in 105 ton range equipment, and I can't believe the absolute dross that the manufacturers are trying to palm us off with.

I've seen better stuff encrusted under John Ringo's desk (that chap has some unsavory habits, but that's just between the two of us, alright?)

Look at this... I mean seriously...

The Intelligence Unit.

This is a shear exercise in reverse psychology if ever I have seen it, and I've seen some things let me tell you. Including the underside of John's desk, and neither of these things are pretty.

It's like people who get toothache, then have to use their tongue to probe said tooth just to double check...

Or drinking a can of Irn Bru... it's just so vile, that you can't believe it possibly could have been that bad, so around a year later, you have to buy another can just to double check how awful it was the first time.

And you keeping doing that every year!!!

Like the aforementioned people, this unit is not intelligent!

Lest see what they are flogging it for (and I use the term because it's interchangeable with the suffix 'a dead horse'!)

85 Crystal, 2263 Ferrite and 1876 Bioptics; admittedly at this kind of level it is small change. But when you look at what you are getting, they may as well charge you a good hundy for a glass of water; a thou just to use the public restroom.

So, what do you get?

A Slow effect of 5, 4% rolling fire (or trample as you plebeians call it) cutting into the opposition second rank, a whopping 2% (yes, I have my facetious voice on..) chance of a double overcharge shot, and of course a 2% vulnerability to solid shot.

A VULNERABILITY!!!

How many times have we pilots said to suppliers not to give us kit that gives us a bigger chance of getting shot!?!?

Oh, here you are Mr Pilot, this is the best thing since sliced bread, it will let you win every fight, but, erm, just so you know, there's a teeny possibility it could get you killed. One in Fifty-ish. A statistical improbability. Don't let it worry you.

I would sigh heavily, but it doesn't come across very well in print. OK, just imagine that I did a really big sigh. See, your imagination shows you have more intelligence than this module.

I can only spell this out once more before I feel the need to nail my forehead to the desk.

Listen closely all ye manufacturers of low grade and useless equipment.

We Pilot Big Mechs.

We Want To Shoot Things.

Cockpit Equipment supposed to help us Shoot Things.

When I can borrow the wife's lipstick and draw a big cross on my windscreen with it and get more precise shots with that than your equipment, then You Are Doing It Wrong!!!!

Oh lord I need a drink now.

Patrick must have left a stash somewhere around here that hasn't been raided yet...

A New Old Threat - By David McCallum #701548

Sometimes it takes a fresh pair of eyes. Somebody who has taken a step back and can see the bigger picture.

While you have all been busy dealing with alternate universes and whoever this Ambrose fellow is, I have been subject to a low level insidious assault of my own.

I refer to the XOX virus.

I shall explain this to you.

It first came to my attention when I was attempting to have a conversation with Junior Pilot. I use the word attempt, because anyone who has any interaction with teens knows that conversation is a forlorn hope that dies when they are still in their single digit years and they can go on endlessly about what they have done at school or the plotline of the latest rave tri-D cartoon.

Probably this includes rectangular trousers in some way, don't ask me why.

Nowadays a conversation either consists of one side using monosyllabic grunts or as is more usual, an outthrust palm while they keep their nose buried in a data slate. At some stage, you may receive an electronic communique from them.

The problem is it appears to be in some form of battle can’t that I'm not familiar with, preceded by a 'noughts and crosses' board.

A simple request to tidy ones dorm area results in a coded message of #OMG #FML; a reminder that they are on kitchen duty and the dishes are stacking up means my message system flags #WHATEVS for my immediate attention.

All while junior pilot's head remains engrossed in that small screen.

These are the first signs of being infected by the XOX virus.

I have carried out studies on this phenomenon and some pilots are less susceptible than others.

Old hands like my own CO General Fuller, who cut his teeth piloting mechs before we knew how to mount additional gear on them are all but immune. Those who drove by the seat of their pants and laid in their shots by dead eye reckoning.

All of us have piloted Anzus and Red Ants in our time, but shortly thereafter we graduated to networked computer systems and AIs to aid us in battle. This is the point that we became susceptible to the XOX virus.

A lot of us have built up a resistance. We field specialists and can drop to to 10 ton maximum squadrons. We can cause more damage with a coffee cup holder than John Fuller can when he has been slipped decaf. I’ve seen the results of both; cup holders should never be inserted into folk in that manner.

Suffice to say we are not totally reliant on electronics for our survival. We can leave it as needed and rely on our own wit and wiles to survive.

But there are those who can’t.

There are those like Junior Pilot who advanced quickly and once exposed to electronics have become hooked and know no other way. Such are the follies of youth.

But you also have those who make an outlay on the best equipment that is on the market and refuse to use anything other than the biggest and best equipment. Some of the most elite pilots with the best financial backing, permanently hooked into the network using the fastest processors and most powerful hardware.

Our bankrolled elite, our untouchables, immersed in the hashtag domain.

The lair of our most insidious foe, the intelligence that is AM.

Oh, we may think that he/she/it has been contained. Mark my words, we are wrong. The sings are there.

Hashtags. Lines and gaps, ones and zeroes. The binary code is right there in front of us.

And now, the best of us who managed to breach the walls of reality and came back with the largest mechs we have seen, the Guardians are scrambling to try and get equipment for them.

And to show you just how devious AM is, the carrier for the XOX virus isn't even a cockpit module.

Go look at the History chassis gear. Check it out now and tell me what you see.

Lines and gaps.

Don't say I didn't warn you...

Oh, and maybe take the data slate away from those junior pilots once in a while and make them talk to you, eh?

ODM Module Equipment Review - By David McCallum #701548

Maybe it's my age and the old eyesight is going.

Or maybe I just have a healthy imagination (or an unhealthy predilection with some decidedly dodgy practices as the wife would put it...)

I'm flicking though the trade catalogues, trying to catch up with the latest offerings on the market when my eyes are drawn to the Dom Module...

Sorry, what was that?!?!

I mean, I know the Bunnies brought us some decent engines in the Orcus Wheel and the Anzu Run... heck, that one can even scale up to the new 105 tonners, but a module that relies on whips, chains and a 'safe word' to slow down???

Thankfully I was mistaken (or at least my eyes were) and I had misread the name of the ODM Module. And no, it isn't a Bunny invention.

So, let’s see what this thing can do.

According to the spec sheet, for 2001 Ferrite, 1821 Bioptics and 55 Crystal you get an engine module fit for 100 and 105 ton mechs that has a Speed rating of 3, a 2% chance of double damage shot and a vulnerability to projectile shots of 2%.

Gah, when will the manufacturers learn not to release kit that has a built-in vulnerability?

I certainly won't be fitting any on my 100 ton mechs at any stage. The double damage shot isn't worth it, and both Kinetic Converters and Power Nodes have no down side to them. Plus, they have better torque of the starting blocks!

I seriously get the feeling that simply because they can fit into a 105 Guardian chassis, somebody is trying to make a quick buck before the more discerning manufacturers catch on and start producing a decent engine block.

Because if you are looking for an engine for your ill-gotten gains, you can either use the aforementioned Bunny made Anzu Run and have it blow up in your face, or you can shell out some serious Niodage for a Nebula Drive and still put up with rubbish speed and an even bigger vulnerability to hard shot.

Seriously.

I think I've been gone too long and you folk have been putting up with some serious substandard offerings that other publications have failed to review in a proper manner...

Fear not, your mouthpiece is back and we shall crusade for decent gear once more!

Zeta Grade Shield Review - By David McCallum #701548

Ok, I'll count down for you, you know the way this goes... altogether now...

Five

Four

Three

Two

One...

LOVE A SHIELD!!!

And even better, even without these newfangled 105 tn mechs, I can use them!

Let’s dive straight in and look at the book value (hah, as if I'm going to buy straight off the shelf.... I know, I'll stop chortling shortly...).

950 Ferrite, 780 Bioiptis and 55 Niodes gets you a flat shield strength of 46 on both types available, a 21% Laser and 9% Fire mitigation on the Lumen with corresponding numbers for Fire and Missile on the Flamma, while the Lumen gets a 7% Missile Vulnerability and the Flamma gets similar against Projectile rounds.

3 extra Niodes for a 17% flat shield increase over an Epsilon class shield.

Also for that your vulnerability goes down by 12.5% (or a good old eigth as we say in old money...) but do watch out, because the mitigation percentages are lower on the Zetas as well... 8% loss on its primary shield type and a hefty 18% on the secondary.

Admittedly at the moment these are only the pair of them on the market and they are going to be a must if anyone is fielding the really big jobs, but for the rest of us mere mortals, the news is good.

On a 100 ton mech the cost is almost identical and each is fully interchangeable with its counterpart, Epsilon for Zeta and vice versa.

All you need to do is guess which is going to be more important, straight shields for all around coverage or the mitigation to try to blunt some of those X6 and X9 staked shots that the 100 ton hulks throw about for fun.

Make your choice wisely....

Back In The Saddle - By David McCallum #701548

Yes, I know.

I'm supposed to be on a sabbatical, sorting new barracks for the clan.

Everything packed and into temporary storage, locations being scouted, plans being drawn up and signed off, security protocols updated (why on Earth the code phrase for "potential trouble" became "But I wanted an orange bedroom" I haven't a clue) and of course large amounts of wrangling with the boss over project finances.

I'm sure if I'd left it to the higher echelons, our new barracks would be a family sized cereal box...

And to make matters worse, the location most suitable for a defensible position needs to take advantage of natural conditions, including terrain and in this case weather. This of course means cold, snow, even storms are all an asset in order to deter potential unwanted visitors.

So, I'm soaking wet and freezing my nethers off when the call comes in... situation changed, reactivate as priority... oh, and take command of a squad, there's a good chap.

Will catch up when you report for duty, incommunicado pro tem, gone fishing...

GRRRRR!!!!!

So back to main base and catch up with what's been occurring. Quite a bit it seems.

I'm pretty sure I told you that those Chroniode kit pieces were bad news. Now we have even more alternate Universes. Remind me to collect on that bet I made with Patrick.

Of course, the down side with being on extended covert ops at the Dark, Damp Buttock Cleft of the Galaxy is that it takes a while to get back in the groove.

Even the daily chores that I have spent so many years doing by rote...

Upgrade kit, check.

erm.. oh yes, resource exchange, check.

Hang on, don't remind me... um, Crystal Harvest run, check.

What’s next... Lottery! Rats, forgot to do that this morning, but checked off now.

It'll come to me, I know it... it's.... it's... Circuit Fights! Check for new Circuit Fights!

It is just so strange getting back into the swing of things, carrying out all of the menial day to day tasks that we have all taken for granted for so long.

And then of course there is the unpacking of crated mechs and getting them battle ready again. Greasing for storage is all very well in terms of preventing corrosion, but by the time it has sat there for over a year and been subjected to the damp of the climates I was sent to (water/oil/grease mix is just yummy at the best of times) and add that to the accumulated dust and detritus of time and you have to get at the bloody joints with a trowel to shift the stuff.

"Well what about water blasting it off?" I hear you ask. The next person that suggests that method is going to get their nuts tightened with a very large monkey wrench, let me tell you!

That would be brilliant if it hadn't been for the fact that while I was knocking icicles of my... nose, the rest of the clan are sunning it up in what is best described as sub-Saharan climes and as such all water is restricted for "personnel hydration" only, in other words getting my clan mates over their morning hangovers.

Bunch of drunken sots that they are...

And yes, before you open your trap, I tried sandblasting. Suffice to say I'm not planning on shelling out for a paint respray on over 300 mechs, not to mention the fact that picking grit out of the crevices with a pair of tweezers is never an idea of fun.

So, back to the trowel and wire brush it is. The high point of which is that Junior Pilot is pulling penal duty again (please note I didn't say 'as usual') for gross insubordination and being a general smart-ass pain in the posterior.

And since Junior Pilot isn't on active duty, they have plenty of time to get most of my formations cleaned up and battle ready.

And it looks most likely that I'm going to need them to be anywhere near effective this time around, what with large amounts of new equipment on the market (never fear, I shall be delving into reviewing that particular crop in my own way as time permits) and these newfangled 105 ton monstrosities that will no doubt be wandering around in the near future.

Ho hum, no rest for the wicked, as they say. Not that I'm wicked... just misunderstood, especially when it comes to inventories and expense accounts, but we don't talk about that in polite company.

Oh, hang on, its you lot....

Anyway, at least somethings don't change, especially my ability to ramble on. I'll be back with more soon, because quite frankly...

...admit it, you've missed me.

Toodles.