This letter is actually directed towards Dr. Drake and his amazing minion factory of doom; however, since it is incredibly difficult to find contact information for an evil super villain in hiding, I can only hope that your publication will reach his desk. I have a complaint! I mean seriously! There I am doing my job like always, when I suddenly find myself, fighting....myself! I looked that clone bugger right in the cockpit! It was me, down to the skid marks in my fruit of the looms! That alone was a real buzz kill, but then I one shotted myself with a stinking back up laser? I think your DNA sequencer is miscallibrated. Not to mention the fact that I wouldn't be caught dead in a Warhorse! In summation, for frak's sakes mate, if you are going to clone me, get it right!
Signed,
Cloned and Confused
Dear Cloned and Confused,
Let me get this straight: A. You are upset because your clone does not fight at your level and failed to kill you, B. You feel degraded due to the fact your clone was piloting a Warhorse, and C. You feel that the best way to vent your feelings is by insulting a mad scientist with the ability to grow legions of killer clones that obey his every whim. Wow. You got a serious sack, mate. Well, my advice is this: A. Go have a pint or two and curse it out with your mates over a game of darts, B. Wake up the next morning, get in your mecha *not a warhorse* and kill more clones, C. After you get out of your mech, take a shower, go to the church of your choice and pray (if you are not religious, get a religion, after insulting Dr. Drake you are gonna need all the help you can get), and finally D. Get a life, get a girlfriend, and for the deity of your choice's sake mate, get laid! (Major anger issues, mate, just saying.)
Signed,
Monk "At least it was mecha related this time" Malone
PS
Thank you to Mathew Le Gassick, for being such a sport. Cheers mate and Slainte Mwhaith!
Submitted by Mathew Le Gassick# 889968 writer & Ron Frye#879655 junior editor and a few funny comments.