Strangest thing happened the other day. As we were doing a routine sweep of our perimeter I encountered an enemy Og' mecha in one of our local port towns. The mecha was in a side alley and appeared to be looking in the window of an apartment building. The pilot appeared to be completely oblivious to my presence and was engaged in performing a pantomime of a sexual explicit personal act upon itself. As I drew closer I could see that the occupant of the apartment in question was a partially dressed female. Realizing what was occurring, I shot the Og' in the cockpit and walked away. My question is this. How the hell do I ever get that image out of my head?
Signed,
Traumatized
Dear Traumatized,
I could recommend several therapists who specialize in this form of trauma. As difficult as it may seem, this happens far more frequently than we would like to admit. I will private message you the contact information on the therapists in question. As a side note, I would like to inform our other readers that masturbating while engaged in your mechas neural helmet is hazardous in far more ways than one. Not only do you run the risk of being shot in the back of the head by a passing patrol, you could also damage your mechas crotch actuators, seriously damage your own private areas due to a massive hydrolic backlash, and best case scenario, you survive, your tech team reviews your video and footage and calls you a bloody wanker for the rest of your life.
Signed,
Monk "Do not be a dead wanker" Malone
PS
Thank you for the anonymous emails from my avid readers. You people are better than fiction.
Submitted by Sgt Ron Frye#879655