My name is Joel Parras and I lead a sub clan of the Brotherhood, one the top ranking clans in the circuits. We run a clean operation with little to nill drama, as we like it that way. However, recently, we have been recruiting younger and younger members to augment our war ravaged ranks. It is a give and take situation I must admit. The newbs are eager but they are teenagers with the retention capacity of goose squirt. I think I have written similar letters to you in the past about this dilemma, but this incident deserved another letter all its own.
One of the young lads in our junior squad gold, had developed feelings for a young lass in junior squad blue. The lad was smitten for the said lass, however the lassy in question was under the misunderstanding that the lad mentioned previously, did not exist.
The young pilot, in an attempt to impress his lady fair, decided to quote, "Pimp his ride.", end quote. Unfortunately he chose to use the parts from the R&D section of the mecha bay, rather than the normal parts bins. As a consequence of this action, instead of simply "pimping" his Krampus Mecha, he instead, "cranked that bad boy up like a classic tank on steroidal LSD.
When he entered the sparring grounds, he took two steps, every single weapon on his mecha fired at once (21 projectile rotary cannons) and his thrust jets ignited into overdrive. The last we saw of him was a radar bleep somewhere between one and one half planetary orbits distance from the sun on a non stop trip to its molten surface.
Any advice?
Signed,
Col "Lost for words" Smythyrs III
Dear Lost for Words,
Col. let me be the first to wish you my condolences on you loss and to thank you for your service to our nations. Secondly, I really have no more advice for you. However, I do have some words of wisdom for your students. If the toys are not yours to play with, DO NOT TOUCH THEM!!!!!
Signed,
Monk "Why couldn't it be a question about actuators or niode bundle technology" Malone.
Submitted by Sgt Ron Frye#879655