Heat Laser Weapon Review

Heat Laser has a minimum level requirement of 85 and costs 2,222 Ferrite, 1,600 Bioptics and, 65 crystal. It does 60 damage with a speed of 100 with 2X damage at 6% for an ability. It's a nice weapon all around really more damage than the res laser with the same speed rating with a better ability percentage attached to it.

These are excellent weapons for you laser based mechs like your Bishops, Dilos, Frigis etc. Basically any mech with the build specs saying pluses to laser damage is great. Of course you can augment the laser abilities with the proper equipment as well as the percentage for dealing X2 damage. These are great little toys for the laser based KOTM they don't pack the punch that some niode based weapons do but are good contenders none the less. When you get to the level where these become available I recommend them highly as they are great crystal stand ins for firepower.

Submitted by Pat Willis #224534

Undefeated; Clan War XVII Division 6 Day 1 82nd Omicron Guards 108 Defenders of Bunny 73

Andries Smith snarled as he waited in his cockpit. The Defenders of Bunny had began strong, their Chieftain John T Mainer led Bolverk, Alyssa and Christine in a tear through the ranks of the 82nd Omicron Guards, and their fury, as carefully planned as an assassination, and as howlingly chaotic as a hurricane, tore through the perfect ranks of the 82nd like a battle axe through an unguarded neck. The 82nd were not like other foes, they did not shake, they did not break ranks or panic. They were as good as their rep, and knew they would bleed for their victory, but were determined to leave with it.

Through the night the lead evaporated, and the Big O took the lead, and extended it. Samael Wormwood was the boogeyman. Not the toughest on paper, he was a master of the art, and in his specialty, even the Chief had failed to beat him. Having broken the best of the Bunnies on his ground, now he was attacking. Andries was in the way.

Andries had been a mid level Avenger of Bunny, the junior clan. He had volunteered for the war, and been advanced to the senior clan, the Defenders where he stood second from the bottom. The chief said it didn’t matter your level, it mattered you put in the work, devoted all of your resources to becoming the best at your chosen specialty, and instantly rearmed after every attack to be ready in defense. If he could not win in the attack against stronger foes, he could cut off grasping fingers when they sought to reach through him for victory. He was ready.

At the outer marker his remotes picked up Samaels lineup. He was running solid Zadok. Two ranks of Zadok marched towards his him. Zadok; the trophy mecha. Cogwork council lords couldn’t buy one, the Meiji Emperor could not command the gift of one, only those who won a Clan War could earn one. A full lance of them stalked towards Andries now. He looked from his Holmes to his Axebot and Hoplite, and new himself outmatched. He snarled again. The words of the chief echoed in his ears.

“Remember, the Defenders of Bunny are undefeated. We may have run out of mecha, and some of our pilots may ran out of blood and limbs before the battle ended, but none of us have EVER been defeated. You will stand your ground, and when the enemy comes, you will remember you are a Defender of Bunny, and for the Bunny, you will unleash Hel itself, you will feed the ravens on the dead of the field, and you will advance!”

Watching the slow confident advance of Samael Wormwood, he saw the raven crest on his lead mecha and it all came clear. It was time to feed the ravens. Victory was hurling yourself into battle without hesitation or regret, defeat was accepting you are, or could be beaten. He could be killed, but he could never be beaten. He was a Defender of Bunny, and they were unbeaten.

“This is Andries, form on me, boar’s head formation. We will advance, on the center of the enemy line. We cannot be beaten, we can only be killed, and dead men drink free in Valhalla. Attack!”

His Axebot opened the attack with a solid rail gun punch to a Zadok, it its fury it burned him down with a Galaxy eye. Blue Reapers and Green Deaths flashed from the Defenders, Mac Cannons and Carnisal Lasers flashed in return. One Zadok died, and a rank of Bunnies.

A rank of Bunny Imech faced the Zadok. Assault Plasma and Carnisal lasers burned down the Bunnies, but answering Rail Cannon broke the back of another Zadok. The Bunnies advanced over the wreckage of their first two ranks, and the reeling Omicron Guard fell before them.

Ferrite Storms and Galaxy eyes cost a Hoplite and Shocklite to the charging Bunnies, but they were in close now where advanced targeting didn’t matter and nobody did close quarter battle like the Berserkyrs of the Bunnies.

At knife fighting range, a Bunny Holmes’s Green Death lived up to its name, its heterodyne lasers achieved perfect synchronicity first doubling, then tripling their power to strike like a rapier into the burning heart of a Zadok, and tear it out.

In matching fury, his wing man traded a hit with his Cornelion Ion Cannon for a miss with the Zadok’s Galaxy Eye. A humble Achilles beam showed why it was prized for lower level fighters when its beam succeeded is disrupting the shield harmonics on the engine of his target Zadok, inducing a critical kill when the sun hot plasma was unchained inside the mecha engine compartment.

Panic beginning to set in, the remaining Zadok used its powerful Galaxy Eye to fell the Holmes with the Achielles beam, and square off with the remaining Holmes.

Sapphire and Emerald, Zadok and Holmes, Omicron and Bunny they snarled their defiance at each other as the air burned with crossing laser blasts. The sapphire Zadok unleashed a sapphire Galaxy Eye that burned through the shields of the Holmes, but passed beside the cockpit above the port side shoulder paldron. Waiting for the slower crystal weapon to cycle allowed the Defender of Bunny that critical half second more to firm up his target, and the emerald Holmes screamed out Green Death in a double serving as the beam hit and sustained burn-through on the starboard flank of the Zadok, cooking off the ammunition of its auto-cannon, and gutting the powerful trophy mecha.

One battered Bunny Holmes stood over a broken foe. Many bunnies had fallen, but none of them had been defeated. You could kill them, but they would never know defeat. Andries voice broke over the command channel. “Delta 7, you are the last mech standing, fetch the beer. 82nd Omicron Guards, you fought well, anyone still alive can join us for a beer. You may carry the day when this is over, but when you step on the field with the Defenders of Bunny you have to kill us all, because we can never be defeated. We are good hosts though; free beer with every ass kicking. Grab a pint, and wait for medical recovery.”

Samael Wormwood had been around a long time, and had faced battles on more fields than he could count, but this would remain one of the strangest. Laughing he keyed his radio to reply. “82nd Omicron, I’m proud of you boys and girls, I though we had this one, the mistake was mine. Grab a brew from our friends across the field. If you want to come try us on our ground, we’d be just as happy to host you!”

They both laughed, Samael had owned the Bunnies on his ground. Andries would take the win he had and leave it at that.

Clan War rages, worlds burn, and you can get two beers in before medical/recovery comes to collect you.

Submitted by John T Mainer 28840

NoRunners And A Mirror Universe Part IV

“Strange..he seemed fine… wonder if him hailing from a vulcanized world had any effect on his lungs’ filtering system…” Reminder note, run tests on Kai’s biochemistry when he could get a chance.

“Could be something to do with it, like if that imbues his people with a unique blood antigen.  We should probably use some of his plasma for the basis of a vaccine.”

Drake laughs, “It’s the getting him to willingly donate it that might prove the issue. My clanmates don’t exactly trust me with their DNA.” Drake laughs again louder and longer this time.

“Ah.  Well, if you’ve got the right equipment for manufacturing antivenom back at you guys’ roaming camp I might be able to talk him into it, after plying him with a few drinks.” I shrug.

“Good idea, and if that don’t work I have some chloroform; it always works.” Drake smiled.

“Hell Drake, save your chemicals for more important experiments, I bet Giga’s breath could knock him right out; I know supplies are limited out in the field and access can be tricky.”

Giga Rex begged to differ: “I have Rupture Shots next to my nose.  You don’t want him dead.”

“Well until we synthesize some antibodies for this, try running your purifiers on full.” Drake punched up his and made sure the AI knew to keep him from the mind affecting air.

“Sounds like a plan. Hey Drake, you don’t suppose you could direct your clan to send over a drop ship at some point? There’s another mecha I have that I think would be useful for when we’re going to try exploring the other side of that gate.”

“One of our new cruisers has been en route for awhile. It was recently built over at the Narian gate nexus. Should be here day or two.”

“Just one, Claymore, a Skriag. I have a theory that the Skriag’s ever-changing molecular body composition might be able to be set to phase in order to counter some of the mood altering gases and signals.”

“Good plan, the DNA is quite useful in my experiments too.”  Drake moves his Antithesis farther up the canyon toward the pathway carved into the mountainside from his clones.

Giga is annoyed that his “know-it-all” brother will be joining us but I calm my mecha down pointing out that after he gets treated with the serum he should be fine to go through the gate too. “Drake, we can use a pipe to make a large needle to treat kaiju with the serum as well I figure.”

“How’s he feel about needles? I have a few from…. well... my extraction of DNA from a few of the living mechs.”

“Giga Rex is brave enough he won’t panic and as for Claymore, he’s too analytical to freak out over it.”

“Good good, some of my clones were roasted the last time I had them stick the needle into a Gigus.”

Giga Rex: “I’m not [a] baby; Other Gigus weak.”  The sound of the mech’s laughing is somewhat disconcerting and it doesn’t help that his vocal cords have been augmented with a vocoder. He pauses to reflect though and asks Drake the following: “How [do] clones taste?”

“Like any flavor you want just tell me and I’ll make sure they taste like that.” Drake’s smile is fairly sinister as he glanced at one of his clones.

“Drake, please don’t encourage him”  I respond while not helping but to wonder if Drake knew about the flavor profile from firsthand experience.  I punch the coordinates to where Drake’s clansmen can fetch my Skriag and pass the datapad over to Drake “Said it should take a day or two, right?”

Drake looked at the coordinates, “Well a bit longer, now. but less than a week so plenty of time to make the serum.”

I try to turn in such a way that Drake has an easier time hearing me than Giga Rex. “I have a much easier time getting along with my Skriag than the Gigus.  He can get a bit unruly now and then.” I raise my voice from the earlier whisper and change tone “So just show me where your immuno devices are and I can get started prepping the serum, alright?  Getting Kai drunk shouldn’t be a problem, I’ve got a bottle of scotch that was aged on Vupa 6.”  My turn to smile darkly. 

“Right this way Myco right this way,” Drake’s laugh echoes through the canyon.

“I’d suggest watering it down and having only a shot at a time, pal.” I tell Drake, offering some from the flask I had in Auger’s cockpit as we make our way to the camp, using the cap to measure out exactly one portion.  “You know the bat people there drink the stuff straight because their tolerance is stronger than a human’s.”

“Indeed, I’ve had a few in the lab for many tests…..”
“We won’t bother telling that to Kai though.”
The bat people age their scotch whiskey in barrels of wood from the few fruit trees that grow on that desolate and blighted world they call home and it imbues their liquor with its particular flavoring.
“OHh Kai! Drake and I wanted to congratulate you and celebrate the success of our dig with some whiskey.  Please join us!”

Drake smiled meaningfully at Myco as they drank with Kai. I make sure to water down my and Drake’s shot glasses at the makeshift bar but give Kai his portions straight.  Any minute now, special metabolism or no…
I check my watch and motion to Drake to ask if Kai’s unconscious yet.

Drake was happy he had also taken something to counteract the alcohol, cause even watered down it was still potent, and the amount Kai drank was surprising before he slipped into unconsciousness.

I try not to slur my speech “See, puts ‘im out like a baby. Er’rytime }hic!“

The two friends haul Kai off to the lab to collect their serum sample.

“Wish I’d known about your anti-intoxicant pills Drake. Haha, liver woul’ be thanking me instead of cussing }hiccup{.  I can hold him down on the table, if you get teh needle.” I hadn’t drank a whole lot but it was enough to dull my senses somewhat and would be a good few hours before reflexes were back to full capacity for fine motor.  “Goddamned fruit bats, always make their liquor hextuple (6x) strength.”
“Just how I like to serve it to my clones before they run the minefield obstacle course.” Drake collects the samples.

I ask one of the clone assistants directions for the facilities so I can vomit and wash my face and return a bit more collected.  “I’m not good to drive but I can spin the stuff down in a centrifuge and should be decent to help culture the antigens in about a half hour.”

Drake noticed that the clone directed Myco towards the minefield obstacle course and had one of his AI’s redirect him away from the course, Blue Wrath would need to go Gigus hunting by himself after being flavored accordingly (Mmm, schnapps!). After I got sober, I was running some dilution calcs on paper while the blood spun.  “Hey Drake, that one clone of yours, Blue Wrath… hell of a sense of humor on him.”

“He’s not supposed to have one, he’s supposed to be a lab assistant.”

“If it’s alright with you, and it’s all the same, how about I have laughing boy blue there finish the rest of the flask, not watered down?”  That should do it. The centrifuge beeps and I withdraw the tube racks from it once the cycling has slowed down enough.  I pass the now separated blood and my notes to Drake’s part of the set up for him to do the next stage’s processing for the antivenom with.

Drake handed Myco something to add to the flask, “It’ll quintuple the strength (6*5 = 30x).”
“Giga, here boy! Uncle Drake has a snack for you.  Candied clone.  Savor it.” I nod to Drake “The kaiju’s liver will be large enough to handle that much alcohol, right?”

“I’ve never tried to get a kaiju drunk before… hmmmm….” A gleam in Drake’s eye. The screaming and crunching noise in the background is what I think it is. Giga Rex is happy.  “That was good, but now I’m sleepy.”  The Gigus curls up and takes a nap in an empty corner of the site.

“Two birds with one stone.  Won’t have to deal with Giga while he’s sleeping and we can finish up this antivenom preparation.”

“Very efficient.” Drake laughs. “My next Blue Wrath will have that defect removed.”
“More like Blue Snark. Yeesh” I add while plating some of the cell cultures for Drake to put drops of the antigen-isolate on.

“Obviously, some contaminants fell into his batch when he was crafted.” Drake frowns, he did hate shoddy work, reminder use more railgun ammo on the failed clones/experiments.

“I’d imagine that if the live tissue cultures take, we’ll have the right concentrate to make counter serum with but it could take days for them to mature…. unless you have some method to speed growth?”

“Yes, the process I use to accelerate my clones maturation process should have it done in say eight hours long enough to get some shuteye.” Drake stretches.

“I should probably call it a day too. I packed a sleeping bag in Auger but that gas plays on people’s nerves.  Mind if I turn in at you guys’ camp?”

“Go ahead, I’m sure the other Exile’s will be happy to talk to someone else for a change.”
“That might be a problem. Well, I did pack some more of that bat-liquor… one barrel… watered down seven ways, you figure?”

“No worries, you’re a guest you can share in our supplies, we have plenty, large logistical supply for our forces since there are now five clans to support and we’re spread out through several sectors of the galaxy at any given time.”

“A fourteenth per clansman wouldn’t be too heavy, I think.  Eh, think of it as a ‘housewarming’ present. To go with the groundbreaking of your new lab.” I laugh a little bit.  I was also hoping to unload my barrel of Vupan whiskey so that Auger’s cockpit would be less cramped on my trip back.








Submitted by Mycobacter, Drake Novum Scientist#712744, #706289

The NoRunners And A Mirror Universe Part III

Keep your two Arctic Gales trained on the Meegs though, in case they start moving again, ok?

“Good idea, keeping the weapons trained on those things no need for them to move again.” Drake’s Antithesis weapons trained on the Meegs as well.

“Thanks. Also, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re giving out some kind of wave… Giga’s mood seems a little off, as does mine. Nothing serious but it’s making us irritable.”

“I’ll run some tests maybe it’s some sort of mech pheromones.” “...Which would explain Rex’s urine disrupting it. Right.”  Drake had his AI run the sensors taking air samples looking for discrepancies in the readings from his earlier excursion.
  
“Yes, there are something in the air that wasn’t here before. The readings say this would cause paranoia and irritability in human and kaiju mecha physiology, maybe I should collect more samples.”

Giga Rex (to Drake, knowingly): “Eldritch mecha make ‘RageStink’.”

After Drake’s explanation and excuses I step out of Giga Rex, thankful the Mad Cloner had used his chemical engineering know-how to help me make a set of indestructible underpants and tempering my sense of betrayal at being lied to against both the many times he had helped me out and the number of times he and I had developed technology together.

“Drake,” I say, forcing myself to remain calm and continually reminding myself that if it weren’t for him, my family would still be in debt, I would have been killed by a robotic virus on at least two separate occasions and failing that at the very least I’d be standing naked right now “buddy, there’s definitely something you’re not telling me.  I’ve deduced that those mecha were assigned to guard something… perhaps a Gate or a cache of Niodes?  Any information that might be relevant to what they are guarding could spell the difference between life and death.”  Giving a stern lecture with the expectation to be taken seriously is difficult when you are in your underpants.

“Well there is an ancient  unknown  Gateway farther down the canyon. It’s made of a metal I have never encountered before, though this mech has similar traits, like from the same planet maybe….” Drake frowned, pulled up his data pad and got engrossed in writing some equations.

“I would have thought you could trust me though pal,” I throw out, shifting my weight to try and look a bit more austere, which again, doesn’t work so well when the speaker is girded solely in laminated briefs “after all, if nothing else you know my real identity friend, and on my planet unmasking a Mechwrestler is kind of a big deal.  Regardless, I think what we have are the remains of a civilization here, but that depends on if there are any structures on the opposite side of that gate. Three mecha and a Gate, do not an entire culture make.”

“Well the Gateway was buried several eons before this mecha was. I’m thinking they may have been guarding for a possible excavation team from wherever they had come from.”

I shake the last of the burning fear and anger that lingered from my head “My friend, I’m sorry.  That gas was affecting my mind.  Normally I’d trust you with my life.”

“Truthfully I’ve felt more suspicious than normal since coming and examining this area for weeks before calling you in on it.” Drake wrote a note to himself, weaponize version of ‘RageStink’. Afterall, mood altering chemicals was his current hobby.

“You’re better at controlling your emotions than most Drake.  Perhaps you could consider a poker career in retirement.” I chuckle before regaining seriousness. “We should probably make some sort of a serum to counteract the gas before anybody else breaks down from it. ...Wait, Kai has been here with you for longer than I have. He’d probably benefit most from the first injection!”

Submitted by Mycobacter, Drake Novum Scientist #712744, #706289

The NoRunners And A Mirror Universe Part II

I decided to call in somebody I knew who was well versed in the Galaxy’s mecha. “Patrick, can you bring Apocalyptor with you too?  I need somebody with a head for history to take a look at this.  My Gigus seems to recognize it but is being difficult and won’t say much about it.  You can’t? Well, I’ll keep you on the speed dial, I think Drake and I may have just stumbled on a previously unknown mecha.”

Myco calling in others to the location had Drake scrapping his plans for a lab, after all the number of times he had gassed and cloned Patrick made having a location he could be found problematic at best. Drake climbed into his Antithesis; powered the weapons just in case, and moved off to the side, coincidentally blocking the path that lead to the gate.

“My apologies Drake.  I’m still training Giga Rex and needed my clan leader’s help taming him.”  I explained the rationale behind my choice. “I’d tried installing some cybernetic behavioral inhibitors in Giga before but his immune system rejected them; didn’t have the desired effect.  Rather than functioning as controls, those mods made it so he and I can communicate without direct mech/pilot interface though instead, as you’ve undoubtedly by now noticed.“

I pat part of Giga Rex’s snout trying not to unintentionally put my hand up the tyrannosaurid’s nostril in the process.  How his body managed to rewire the components and incorporate them as a vocoder was not something I’d have been able to predict, but it did make matters of communication a great deal easier.
 “As for Patrick, his Jadoon happens to be very ancient and knowledgeable about things in this galaxy.  I was hoping he could get it to shed some light on our find here.  If he can’t, which it is sounding like the way things are turning out, we might still get some information from Apocalyptor, which happens to be in his fleet. The ‘First’ Jadoon, from which all subsequent ones were cloned.”

Giga Rex: “I don’t like the big brainbugs.”

“Most beast mecha don’t. Believe me though Giga, the feeling is mutual.  I’ll never replace you with a Jadoon though buddy, so don’t worry.”

Giga Rex snorted.  He turned his head to the Antithesis and cryptically addressed Drake “Not Forerunners.  NoRunners.”  Then Giga went back to being silent.

“Drake, what’s a NoRunner?  That’s the first I’ve heard of one. Did that codex artifact I found you on Mars make any mention about those?”*

Drake frowned, “hmm… there might have been a brief mention of the word I thought it was a messed up translation, but I may now need to reexamine the artifact with these new parameters.” Drake felt better that Patrick was not going to arrive any time in the near future, maybe he would build a lab, one of his more explosive research ones that had a proximity function….

“This metal seems unusual too…” I say, rapping my knuckles against it. This causes a tone to reverberate briefly and almost musically which in of itself isn’t odd but the sound dies off a bit too quickly, as though the kinetic energy of the sound was being actively absorbed by the metal.

A light blinks on the otherwise smooth surface as though underneath, disrupting the otherwise uniform albeit moderately scratched surface of the mech skeleton.  It had reacted to my touch? “Perhaps some sort of a beacon?”

There is a slight rumbling on either side of it, as though to answer me.  Two smaller mecha (the Shawg is 85 tons or so, these are 75 tons)  burst from the rock face with movement of carcinian claws, going through some form of completely automated guardian protocols then sit on standby… deeming neither Drake nor I to be a threat, perhaps due to a glitch.

Giga Rex: “Humans dumb; Gigus mark… tell Meegs Shawg is dead.”

Sick of having to guess so much at what my Gigus kept alluding to I ejected from Auger and went inside Giga Rex.  A painful experience, as per usual but on integration things became clearer to me as the Oggun below us slumped over and powered down.  First there was getting swallowed and shunted through the tube, then came the goo and last the forceful nervous system connection.

“Drake, probing Giga’s brain tells me based on their behavior that these mecha are or were guarding something.  When were you thinking of telling me about that… Either of you?”  It was hard to tell from outside the Gigus but inside it, under the partially masked plate of my Neural Recalibrator helmet I was glaring.

“Well um, I didn’t pick them up on my sensors, getting some interference down there, going to have to do something about these sensors if I want a lab, can’t have mecha coming up below me.”

“When Giga Rex peed, he saved us. Apparently Meegs will not try to protect a Shawg they think is dead.  That’s all I can get from him though.  Unless you want to count that the formation of one Shawg with a Meeg unit on either side is called “sentry”, which to me sounds useless… unless they were guarding something further up or down from here on the mountain.  Any idea what that might be Drake?” I relax, Giga Rex cocking his four arm mounted Smelters and the display asking me if I’d like to use the Diablis Nozzle in his chest.  I decline and indicate he is not to fire The Smelters.  Things trying to kill us is normal for when Drake and I go on these sorts of expeditions.  Giga internally asks me what about his numerous Death Head missile racks. No Giga, you are not to launch Death Heads at Drake. He is a friend. Nor the mechas we’ve dug up.  They are valuable.  And no, you can’t shoot the pair of Plutocracy missiles on your back EITHER.
Fine, fine, if you must, burn your Rupture Shots at a FRACTION of normal power to light a campfire. 








 Submitted by Mycobacter, Drake Novum Scientist#712744, #706289

The NoRunners And A Mirror Universe Part I

For awhile Drake and I had suspected that not all Gates went to parts of our universe.  Rather, we figured that at least a few went to what could be thought of as other universes.  This built on some ancient work theorists from the 20th and 21st Century had laid down as the foundation speculating on existence of reality being a superposition of various realities, a multiverse if you will.

At the time it was seen by humanity as little more than a novelty.  However, later since then during the Niode Gate Age, with the discovery of some of the more bizarre things this universe has to offer such as the Triax and Chaos Gates, a renewed interest had begun to buzz in academic circles. Over a thousand years later.

We were doing a dig on one of the planets Drake wanted to establish a new laboratory on, and by we I mean, me, him and his clansman Kai.  My Gigus, Giga Rex was protesting a little bit, that he’d rather be killing or at least practice fighting than being used as a beast of burden and mere excavation vehicle.  I tried explaining to him that this could be considered a type of training.  I’d also pointed out if the mission went well there would be money for new high end weapons.  “Come on Giga, you’re the best mecha for this job because of your claws.  You know that a Skriag or Nakshi wouldn’t be any good for digging.”  The tyrannosaurid growled but complied.

The Teeth Mountain Range made a good place for Drake’s lab, plus he knew this location wasn’t far from Kai’s find, a partially uncovered gate of unknown origin. The design was unlike any seen before and Drake speculated that it might be from one of the other ancient civilizations he had come across before. He would keep the gate a secret for now. Drake stood outside his mech as the Gigus excavated the site. A set of blueprints in his hands and an array of scanners surrounding him Drake was quite pleased with their progress so far. “Kai, my dear man, could you fly this back to the roaming camp for me? It’s the update that Silver wanted.”

Kai took the message and headed for his aircraft. Drake was glad to see him go, afraid he might have shared the news about the gate.

I was in my trusty Oggun, Auger, and directing Giga remotely.  Auger was an older unit I’d possessed for a very long time.  Despite its age (and smaller size compared to my later acquisitions), many was the time Auger had saved my life in battle as a part of my formation so I probably wouldn’t retire it until after Auger had completely ceased functioning.  With a little guidance from Drake on how to recalibrate its vulcan auto-cannon I found Auger living up to its name literally during this job.

A large slab of the mountainside slid off releasing billowing clouds of dust and talus.

Giga Rex spooked… which is not something which the Giguses, as beast mecha with a reputation for fearlessness are known to do.

We had recovered the remains of an incredibly bizarre mech which if I didn’t know any better Giga seemed familiar with.  “Spill already,”

Giga Rex: “Ancient Enemy… Shawg, Destructor.”
Myco: “Giga, you mean to tell me… Drake, can you get a date on this artifact?”

Drake looked at the striations in the strata and realized that the newly revealed ones around the artifact were much older than the ones on the outer cliff face. “Give me a second Myco, and I’ll run some samples………………. (25 thousand) years, hmm interesting, interesting indeed.”  The ones around the gate were much much older, so the mech had not used that gate. More than likely it had used the one they had used. The four day overland travel to this location from the gate made Drake a bit impatient, but the finds here kept him from using his railguns on the clones, which they obviously appreciated.

“...That puts it at a time near but before the Forerunner Great War.”

Drake walked up to the mech and ran some scans, he silently recorded his findings then returned to his equipment. The first results brought a smile to Drake’s face and he gleefully informed Myco what the payload of the main weapons were.

There was something difficult to place yet felt decidedly horrifying about this aged wreck of a metal hulk.  It was simultaneously familiar the way Forebearer technology tended to be yet at the same time had something inexplicably “off” to it.  No,... it couldn’t be that… to ease my mind a bit I decided to focus on the more concrete aspects of the pieces to this mecha skeleton, its physical details.  It’s main weaponry were racks of missiles which had what Drake analyzed to have been biological warfare agents as their payload.  Beyond that was where things got weirder though.  There were what on first glance looked like eyespots dotting its “chest” portion with a featureless “head” region sitting above the chest that was almost vestigial seeming.  With some further investigation Drake and I realized these were actually laser and ice weaponry.  Overall though the strangest thing about this mech was its method of locomotion.  Instead of being ambulatory due to legs, treads or a hover skirt, this mecha seems to have slithered using metal tentacles.

This defied what was known about the Forerunners, who to this point as far as was known had tended to model their mecha after reptiles and insects.  Not arthropods like molluscs or crustaceans…  Giga knew more than he was letting on.  Just then he started scent marking the find, urinating on it with his cloaca.  I scolded him.  Why go to the trouble of desecrating the corpse of an enemy that has already been long dead?

Giga Rex: “Habit.”

Drake was less than pleased with the Gigus but kept silent, no need to antagonize the living mech with sharp teeth, claws and assorted weaponry especially when not in his mech or with a useful invention to mitigate the danger of said mecha.









Submitted by mycobacter, Drake Novum Scientist #712744, #706289

Dark Matter Converter Equipment Review

Atlas Motors Collective proudly shows you the brainchild of our automotive engineers and physicists working together: The Dark Matter Converter.  Let worrying about diminishing fuel sources be somebody else s problem with this engine; it runs on the universe's most plentiful energy resource!  Using our signature hallmark Niode Powered electrolytic fuel cell we're famous for, the Dark Matter Converter gives your mecha a +5 speed boost and 3% increased chance of dealing triple damage.  The standard cadre of nanobots provide an auto repair ability of 3, just keep them away from flame (4% fire vulnerable).

These nano-machines pull double duty and we think you'll be impressed that our Dark Matter Converter is SELF INSTALLING. Yes, you read that correctly. Designed to fit in 80-90 ton mecha, it costs 1193 Ferrite, 387 Bioptics and 52 Niodes.

Submitted by Mycobacter#712744

Archfiend Weapon Review

Min level to buy 75, costing 2,000 Ferrite, 1,200 Bioptics, and 56 Niodes. This is a great lil weapon to have around it causes crit-kills at 19% has a damage of 105 and speed of 102. Said to channel the energies of the gateways themselves this is a nice big gun with some nice damage behind it.

Having been one of the ones lucky enough to find the Aspis mechs during the limited mission release mine had no horn weapons to it. It was just a naked mech. So I put three of these babies on instead, they fire quicker and do more damage the horn weapon anyways, and made myself a Grandaddy Aspis with those new guns in the horn plating. Case solved and more damage potential on my mech

Submitted by Pat Willis#224534

Cup Runeth Over

“Listen up recruits, we are fortunate to hear from one of the elite pilots of the Black Company, the command company of the Defenders of Bunny. Sgt Kilgore “Blue Balls” McSweeny has been sentenced, I mean, has nobly volunteered to discuss the Vital Importance of the Cup Holder in light mecha operations. Kilgore has some personal experiences from Clan War XVII that are deeply relevant to this topic”

Skadi smiled her ice cold smile, and brandished a low powered training taser.
“As a line combatant, “Blue Balls” language occasionally backslides to barracks mode, and I have been instructed to administer as gentle reminder when he forgets he is instructing, not simply telling barracks stories”

Sgt Kilgore McSweeny, once “Killer Kilgore” but now forever “Blue Balls McSweeny” eyed Skadi (the White Huntress of Training Command) with ill humor, but resignation. He deserved it, may as well get it over with. Frigging recruits screw up enough daily that if anyone should cut him some slack it would be these green idiots.

“Alright punks” There was a harsh crack and the smell of ozone as a high powered taser blast arced lighting that blasted Kilgore backwards over the lectern. The recruits cried in alarm, but Kilgore dusted himself off with a wary look at the smiling Skadi and rephrased his opening.

“Alright recruits….. here are the basics’ of the cup holder. Cost, sweet frike nothing. I mean honestly, you can roll a drunk in Cogwork port for enough to equip two of these. Use, well that is a funny one, they are rated on average as increasing your precision by 4, and giving you a flat 1% chance of a critical kill.”

“Now, can anyone tell me how they work?”

Dead silence and puzzled looks all around. Kilgore nodded. “Yup, I thought the same. The damned things don’t really do anything, but we do. Pilots boys and girls, we make the world go around, the mechs go bang bang, and we are the makers of sweet shots, and total frack ups. Cup holders don’t fix your mecha, they keep you from stepping on your di… (Skadi tapped the taser on the table at the back of the room, prompting a quick edit of his metaphor) keeping you from screwing up. Screwing up like I did.”

“Clan War XVII is a mother lover. I mean Knockers is losing her mind with the tech crew trying to prep a dozen lineups for every single mecha lance in the Clan, and the pilots are going equally squirlly, as we prep our own mecha, our back up mecha, and six other mecha we haven’t piloted in years, or never piloted at all. I drive a Krampus, I have ganged Betrus Processors to monitor my mecha state, enemy performance and characteristics, monitor my biometrics, and optimize the release of hormones from my implants to battle fatigue and increase focus. Perfectly titrated doses of stimulant and aggression hormones are introduced to keep me in peak performance.” His smile was wistful.

“Then we fought some butt-monkey who defended with Red Ants, and the chief told us to put in our twin cup holders and chassis upgrades, and pick our best weapons for the load out. Now the chassis gear is sweet, really makes the twitchy little mecha dance, and when you level them up enough, the little tin cans look like walking piles of guns. What the hell is the point of putting cup holders in? The damn machine’s too stupid to handle the massive data-flow required for shield analysis, or power flow mapping to detect weaknesses, its AI actually requires keyboard input for questions, and the goofy thing actually needs wipers on the cockpit because it doesn’t have repulsion fields. You get tired, you grab a stim can, you can’t fight any more, you slam a Hatoraide. Don’t get the empties under the foot pedals or you fall on your ass. Who needs frills? You have to open your cockpit to fart in the damned things already, the last thing you need is more gear in there…..so I thought.”

“Anyway, the war’s a real cluster frag, we don’t have one scouting report on the enemy, we have like fifty, because each idiot has a dozen different ways they could be fighting, and we don’t know until the day which one they went with. We spent so much time going over the intel reports and putting our own gear together that we were already functioning on stim packs. I had taped up a hard copy of the lineup the dweeb had we were fighting, but it was getting hard to read. I opened a stim so I could focus, but I got the wrong can, and it was a Hatoraide. That made me mad. Tired as I was I drank half the damned thing before I noticed, and then I just got madder that I screwed up and had no place to put it. I stashed it up on the cockpit windshield above the cockpit and grabbed a stim to wake me up. I was going over the report of our targets weapon specs when the alarm hit, we were in combat!”

I should have been switching from screen to screen, not blocking one half my cockpit with taped hard copy. I should have had my stim secured on my left, Hatoraide on my right as per policy. Instead I caught some trample effect from a bloody (he cursed as Skadi zapped him again for language) Ferrite Storm, when my Hatoraide spilled on my dash, shorting my targeting computer. I went to switch to manual and slapped the override, but did so too hard and spilled the Stim pack into my speakers, so the rest of my comm system sounded like somebody gargling. We won the fight, but I didn’t hit a damned thing, and my mecha required complete nav/comm/targeting tear down even though my armor didn’t breach. There was a cockpit fire and I got a little burned at dash level (he gestured vaguely below his belly button), and the emergency burn cream is made from Smurf berries so turned certain burned parts of me blue-temporarily”

“Having a cup-holder gives you precision 4, 1% critical kill, and the choice of ready stim or Hatoraide. Twin cup-holders give you twice the benefit and more options. No cup-holders gets you nicknamed Blue Balls, and leaves you to confess your screw-ups to a room full of recruit weenies”

Submitted by John T Mainer#28840

M-Hole Equipment Review

This is a premium piece of chassis equipment for 85 ton Huge to 95 ton BFM weight division class mecha.
The M-hole is a Niode driven combination radar and signal jammer that is powered by "cold plasma".  The jammer portion behaves as a barrage jammer to screw up an opponent's sensors (11% Freeze) and wreak havoc on their mecha's electronics (10 Slow) while at the same time the radar portion functions using a modified base jammer so that your own radar equipment remains unaffected (Precision 6) in the midst of interferences created by the electronic warfare your M-Hole is putting out.  This simultaneous defense and offense when used properly ups your crit-kill % by 3.

Reviewer Notes: The nonthermogenic plasma fuel used by an M-hole lends itself to the overall reliability of this device, since you don't have to worry about running an M-hole causing it to overheat.  Also, the use of a second jammer to transmit a signal purposely for detection while at the same time blocking the receivers and transmitters of other sources using the first jammer makes for an ingenious way to see your opponent more clearly while at the same time placing them at a tactical disadvantage.

It costs 1004 Ferrite, 604 Bioptics and 49 Niodes.

Submitted by Mycobacter#712744

Wrench In The Works : Clan War XVII

Knocker’s McGuinty was chief tech of the Defenders of Bunny. Riding herd on the machines of a clan that was as far flung as the Bunnies was somewhere between a dream and a nightmare. The Defenders stretched from the high teens to the ninety, running everything from Red Ants to Jadoon. Knockers, like her father before, kept the mecha in fighting form, gave them the quick turnaround that doomed more than one Pirate Lord, or rival clan, and tailored them for special events.

Clan War XVII was run by the Craftsmen, with rumors that an unknown benefactor was bankrolling the whole event on the grounds that certain special conditions were met. This was a specialist event, where each competitor could pick a specialty that they would defend as, and every attacker must meet them on those grounds, or lose.

In theory, this allowed good preparation and strategy to even the odds against superior mass and firepower (somewhat). It had drawbacks. You didn’t have to prepare just your defending lineup; you had to prepare every tonnage limitation, and weapons specialty, and be ready to switch between configurations at a moment’s notice. It was a nightmare of work, the techs had been putting in more hours than the pilots, and the pilots were living on stim packs already.

From the shop floor rang the sound of crystal on ceramet armor, the defiance roar of a Gigus and the scream of a woman gone utterly around the bend. Charging to the mech bay doors, John beheld the strangest sight his Clanhold had ever seen. His chief tech (Knockers McGuinty) had been working on a Gigus outside the usual repair gantries, because all of them were already in use, and mecha were half assembled all over the place, including what looked like a pair of Luison dangling from the rafter chain hoists, being worked on hung upside down like shot pheasants.

Gigus have to be chained down when you swap out the weapons, because they do not like to give up their guns, and putting in new ones makes them itch terribly until the software syncs properly. John’s lances 80 ton Gigus (Muffin) was trying to defend the Kojin stove that Knockers was taking out. He had thrown her off and was scampering for his sleeping cradle. Knockers grabbed the crane override and slapped the emergency release, dropping a Luison on the Gigus head. As the stunned mecha rolled on the ground, a raging Knockers lept on its head, and with her crystal wrench began banging it on the forehead screaming

“Lie still!” (clang) “Or I’ll” (clang) “Give you Viper Lasers!” (clang) “You toaster!” (clang)

The Gigus lay still, whimpering, terrified of the chief tech, and her threat to leave him with only Viper Lasers. She ripped out the Rupture Shot savagely, and the Gigus made soft crooning noises and attempted to groom her (somewhat disarrayed) hair to calm her down. Hoisting the Luison back into the air, and slapping a shackle on the Rupture Shot for the next crane to remove, Knockers opened a can of Hatoraide, and a Stim Pack, and shot them both, before tossing the empties into the recycling bin 20 feet away. The can rang like a target drone on cannon test day.

John looked as his tech crew, noticing they all moved like zombies on PCP, and decided this war may have made casualties out of his techs before the first shot was even fired. He turned to Christine (Personnel and Public Affairs officer of the Defenders of Bunny) “How long have they been using Hatoraide on the shop floor?”

Christine muttered quietly “About the same time they switched to 16hrs on/8 off; so about a week now. I think most of them are bug-nuts crazy at this point, but their efficiency is damn near textbook perfect. Right up until they start eating brains, I think we are OK. Oh crap, she’s coming this way. Gotta go!”

Knockers was charging the office, wrench in hand. Panicked pilots raced to get out of the way, and even the great mecha seemed to shift to keep machinery between them and the raging mechanics. The DOB AI opened the door at emergency speed, unwilling to see if Knockers planned on slowing or opening it before coming through leaving John trapped behind his desk facing the pilot, whose eyes were dark pits you could park a Dreadnought in, and the bruises underneath would shame a raccoon or strung out Juba addict on a million ferrite bender.

“ I have had it! I have made a line up for each of your pilots for the whole Clan for your stupid war, and then I did it again, and then again, and then A HUNDRED AND SEVENTEEN MORE TIMES!” She brought the wrench down on the crystal armorplast desk that was rated to take a Rail Cannon strike and continue function, according to the manufacturers specs. Again and again the crystal wrench the pilots had bought her as a token of their esteem rang on the “unbreakable” computer desk until his holoscreens started to fritz, and Mighty Beatrice the AI painted a cartoon hologram above Knockers head showing what John would look like with that three foot crystal wrench shoved someplace wrenches shouldn’t go; indicating that perhaps he should calm her down before Beatrice needs a new mainframe, and John needs a proctologist.

Knockers finally ran out of steam and broke into sobs
“And you all keep leveling up, and things need tuning, and you keep reassigning the weapons, and I just can’t do this anymore, I want to shoot somebody so badly, can’t I shoot somebody, I really think it would help?” She sounded so much like his daughters at this point that he smiled and began stroking her hair.

“There, there Knockers, it will be OK. Would you feel better if you got to light someone on fire, maybe cut them down in the fury of a rotary powered Ferrite Storm? Or cut them down in the scream of a Galaxy Eye?”

She looked up, tears standing in her eyes, but a hopeful, almost smile touching her quivering lips “Maybe watch them come apart under the hammer of a hundred armour piercing missiles, or flash freeze in the scream of an Arctic Gale?”

John laughed. Granted, civilians would be calling for psychiatrists and sedation, but Clan Chiefs knew the correct response to such insane fury was to couple it with an advanced sentient Artificial Intelligence in a niode and crystal powered war machine, and turn her loose upon the world. Really, would’t the Galaxy benefit from letting such fury find fullest expression behind the controls of a mecha? Besides, she had earned the chance to join with her children, the mecha she cared for every day, and share with them the gift of battle.

“Clan War XVII is upon us. Go see Stephanie for your implant, and we will have you in the cockpit for the war. Keep my machines running, and you too can dance howling in the fire.”

Easter (the bunny, not the pilot clone) had hopped over, and jumped up into Knockers arms to head butt her until she began stroking the Bunnies soft fur. The Bunnies knew when their Defenders needed them. Through her own implants the Bunny sent a message image to the holoscreen in the chief office. It showed Jessica Rabbit; the Red Ant that was once Jessica Bradley-Rabbits ride, before she became a lance leader. Yes, that would do well. The Bunnies always knew best.

Clan War will rage, worlds will burn, and mechanics will lose their minds. Is your Clan ready?

Submitted by John T Mainer#28840