Friday, December 4, 2015

They Don't Make Them Like They Used To... by David McCallum #701548

This isn't a rant about the lack of equipment for the big mechs... Pat has that covered.

Of course, the problem is he's wrong.

It's deeper than that.

Oh, I know the RND have examined every aspect of the game in minute detail. The Brotherhood are supposed to have some of the best number crunchers in the business. Even my own guys, the Heroes have some top notch analysts and min/max designers.

The thing is I don't need to do in depth research to know the chemical composition or physical characteristics to recognise that something is a .... poo.

And despite the fact that Mythbusters proved otherwise, its very difficult to polish a .... poo.

I look at the battle results... not necessarily the numbers and hits, only if I really need to cross check something that looks like a close battle. Generally you can get the ebb and flow and feel what is going on. That’s when the .... poo stands out.

We know how nasty the Huge class mechs are. We've been on the receiving end too many times. Get up into BFMs though and it starts getting smellier. Not the 90s, they are good. Love a 90.

But 95s? On paper, my Boreas is the nastiest piece of hardware I have. I know for a fact that to get even a basic equipment loadout that it deserves, my budget needs to be around 2 to 3 times larger than any other mech I own. There is ample equipment for it and I'm more than happy with what its carrying.

Yet it gets into battle and falls over when sneezed at. Seriously, even attacking the Pirate Moon, It spends more time getting rebuilt than it does on operations. I'm seriously working on a combat zimmer frame just to keep the bloody thing propped upright!

My Yallan and Glaccus are complete non events, but at least they are only crystal and I can use that as an excuse as I hang my head in embarrassment.

Let’s go heavier. I don't own a Potatotron. The closest I've come is when somebody has hidden one in the middle of their formation and my trusty 85s have waved to it as they go thundering past the wreckage.

I did buy a Typhoon though. I started to work out how to equip it. I'm pretty sure I can get it up to the same combat effectiveness that you get when a half blind geriatric Labrador attempts to hump your leg.

See, the real problem isn't the lack of kit. It's an actual issue with the chassis. Over 90 tons, they must be too big to polish or something like that... just like other things I could mention.

These newer mechs.... don't hold with them.


Submitted by David McCallum #701548