Crappy 8-bit theme
music starts playing while images showing various clan logos, mech in action
and famous places around the galaxy fade in and out on the screen and then it
fades to black after the photo reel is done. After a dramatic rise in tension
from the theme music the show title fades in. The camera tightens in on a
shadowy figure outlined from a soft glow from some back lights. The house
lights come up and the figure is revealed to be a man of middle age in suit
that was in fashion last decade.
John Ringo: “Hello and welcome to the first episode of
Galaxy Talk. I am your host, John Ringo. Tonight, our panel will take on tough
questions submitted by viewers like you. Before we get to our first question
lets meet our panel. For our first panelist, we have Retired General Stryker.
General thanks for joining the show and providing us with your thoughts from a
military perspective.”
General Stryker: “Hello John and thanks for having me on the
show.”
John Ringo: “Next we have Joan Glitter, former CEO of “Sparkle”
fashion magazine. Joan, it will be interesting to see what you will bring to
the discussion. I am not sure how well fashion relates to mechs and weapons but
the network thought you would bring something valuable to the team so welcome
to the show.”
Joan Glitter: “John dahling that is because you clearly have
no fashion sense what so ever… just look at that horrible suit you are wearing.
It is so plain and boring! It is so old it should be on a mummy. Right now, I
do not care to talk about your silly robots and weapons as we need to talk
about your wardrobe so I do not fall into a coma looking at you.”
John Ringo: “Well Joan this is what the producers gave me to
wear so you should take it up with them. The last member of our panel is Chuck.
The producers found him wondering around the lobby looking lost and gave him
the job as our man on the street. Welcome Chuck.”
Chuck: “Uh, I am getting paid for this right?”
John Ringo: “Yes, whatever you and the producers agreed to
when you signed on.”
Chuck: “mmmmm good. I like Gummy Bears.”
John Ringo: “Ok then. Moving on we have a view submitted
question for our panel so let’s watch the video.”
The video monitor
comes to life and the camera focuses in on a young man in a non-descript pilots
uniform. The words at the bottom of the picture identify him as Grady Hassleon
of the clan Mutt’s Revenge.
Grady Hassleon: “Hello, I would like to ask the panel why
the guys in my barracks are always smearing things like stinky cheese and axle
grease into my pillow and bed under the pillow case and sheets. Since I joined
up with this unit a few weeks ago, I have not been able to get a good night’s
rest. I am so tired that I am afraid I will mess up my first combat mission at
the end of this week.”
John Ringo: “Sounds rough over there at Mutt’s Revenge. Ok
who wants to take the first crack at this?”
General Stryker: “I will John. Son, clearly you are being
put through a hazing ritual as the new guy in your unit. You just need to hang
tight and get through your first combat run to prove yourself and then they
should leave you alone.”
Joan Glitter: “No he needs to change his outfit. It is so boring
his friends are trying the only way the know how to make it look better. Only
mech jocks would think smearing grease and cheese on your clothing would
improve it. Maybe if you try a few colors of paint or feathers you will wow
them enough to leave you alone.
Chuck: “Cheese and grease sounds tasty. I am hungry…”
Chuck gets up and
walks off stage towards the guest lounge
John Ringo: “Oh boy. What did I get myself into… The
producer is signaling me we are all out of time. Thanks to our panel for their
views tonight and thanks to our viewer Grady for his question. I hope the panel
has helped you out. Until next time thanks for watching!”
The crummy theme music
starts playing as the camera pulls back and the screen slowly fades to black.
Submitted By John Ringo #899287