There are certain things a chap should not have to deal with when sober.
It all started so innocently.
With it being the new year, young Kenneth, bless his little cotton socks, decided to purchase a new set of combat fatigues. The packages duly arrived and he tore them open with the enthusiasm of a puppy that just discovered the joy of bubble wrap.
Out came the new overalls, a one piece light tan, nicely tailored, pockets all over the place, you get the gist. So we have to put up with him prancing around in front of a chrome bulkhead that he was using as a full length mirror for the next ten minutes. I mean seriously, when one gets to a certain age you need to realise you are built for comfort rather than speed, and there are certain poses you just can no longer get away with in polite company.
That wasn't the worst of it.
Out came the new combat helmet, and you could tell that there was an issue as soon as he opened the package.
"Oh", came his small quivering voice. "They got the colour mixed up."
And sure enough, he lifted a maroon helmet out of the sea of shipping nuggets.
And then true to Kenneth form, he spotted the bright side.
"But that's OK", he beamed. "I used to fight with the Ruby Dragons, so this will be a nice nod to them." And he promptly put the helmet on.
Take a moment to picture it in your minds eye. A tight fitting tan costume, topped with a maroon helmet.
There is just no plausible way that you can explain to the unsuspecting innocent just what an absolute fashion disaster that is likely to be nor the images it is likely to invoke, especially without the use of hand gestures.
Even Patrick had the decency to wake up from his mid morning inebriation and blink.
And since he is the boss, I decided that with discretion being the better part of valor, and with cowardice being the better part of discretion, I should valiantly go and hide in the stationary cupboard while Patrick explained some of the... erm... facts of life.
I took the time to have a decent look at one of my new toys.
Now I get the feeling these aren't going to be on the open market for too much longer, and I freely admit mine was scavanged from Santa's hordes, but at present you can get them for 45 Niodes, 905 Bioptics and 832 Ferrite.
Now its not a bad little piece of cockpit kit. Unlike the cup holder for the little guys, this is a big boy's version with its own liquid dispenser, suitable for any chassis between 75 and 90 tons.
A precision of 10, which is nice and standard for Crystal gear at that tonnage and is a very good benchmark. Can't argue with that.
Shield of 8. That's unexpected, but love a shield. I expect that loaded on this stuff, you just don't feel the pain. I'm guessing you don't give a monkeys about recoil either which accounts for the increase in velocity for projectile munitions.
A blessing in disguise, if you are already seeing double, chances are you are going to fork the odd shot.
Ah yes, the drawback. A speed negative. Let's get real, when you are right royally tanked your reflexes are going to be off. I may have to run empirical tests, but I'm guessing that this would actually be a speed increase for Patrick given his usual state.
Oooh, but I've left the best until last. With all of that toasty goodness swilling around your innards, you can run things just that much colder. 25% freeze for every shot colder.
Now that's just a whopper. To put it in perspective, there is no other piece of gear that has freeze in that order of magnitude. You do get close with the built in chassis bonus from a Jottun, and of course the built in stiffness potential from a Magnus is just obscene...
Sorry about that.. whopper... stiffness... obscene... I'm getting flashbacks to Kenneth's new outfit.
The point is, a single one of these on a decently leveled Magnus and its nighty night target, at least for a short nap.
But for my mind, you'd want to couple it with the throw weight of a niode mech to offset that speed negative. The Antithesis isn't bad, since it already has built in freeze, but to my thinking the new Onyx is almost begging for one of these. Or fling them on a Dreadnought and give it another string to its high speed bow.
Just one thing... make sure that once combat is over, you have a good backup crew that you trust. Side effects may include nausea, vomiting
, slurred speech, falling over and a distinct lack of judgement when it comes to the attractiveness and availability of those around you.
You may even think that Kenneth looks good afterwards...
Go on, admit it... you were thinking of something else, weren't you?
Submitted by David McCallum : #701548